im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
