do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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