took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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