were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
