i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
