scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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