I feel like abortions should bother me more
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
