sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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