i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
