that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
