I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think I sprained my soul last night
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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