WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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