i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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