let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
