I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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