good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
