Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
you never un-have a 4some
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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