have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
