i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
