Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
