you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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