apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
