I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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