people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
