did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize