If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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