It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize