..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
