So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
