Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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