Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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