it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
