Screwed.edu
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
