Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
