If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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