he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize