its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
