Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
