Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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