Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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