that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Panties = found
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