Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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