Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
