It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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