We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
