Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
