Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize