R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
