just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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