i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
