I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
