I just cut my nipple shaving
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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