So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize