You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I forget how to act sober
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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