i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
