Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
