apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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