They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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