Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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