what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
