wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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