I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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