real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just had sex on a roof
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
