This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
