I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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